Most of us are used to waiting for things — in line at the grocery store, at a red light, or for the coffee to finish brewing. How much waiting each of us can tolerate is deeply individual. But waiting in a healthcare setting is a different kind of waiting. It carries emotional weight, uncertainty, and often a sense of vulnerability.

Recently, I had my annual appointment with my hematologist, the physician who treated me for brain cancer in 2014. I credit him, to this day, with saving my life. Now that I’m on a once-a-year schedule, I asked him if I still needed to come. He didn’t hesitate: “Yes. I want to see you annually.” It mattered to him — and because of that, it mattered to me. I’ve continued to show up.

But here’s the challenge: I usually wait at least two hours before I see him. He is busy, caring for patients with complex needs, and I respect that. Still, long waits can be hard. They are hard for patients, caregivers, and even the staff who are trying to keep the day moving.

So in this post, I want to talk about waiting — and what patients and caregivers can do to make those long stretches more manageable.

Prepare For Your Appointment and Review While You Are Waiting

• Bring a list of questions or updates for your doctor
• Pack snacks, water, and any medications you may need
• Dress in layers in case the waiting room is cold
• Charge your phone or tablet, Bring your charger if you battery has a short life span
• Preparation reduces stress and helps you feel more in control.

Bring Something Meaningful to Do as Waiting feels longer when you’re idle.

• A book or e-reader
• A journal to jot down symptoms or reflections
• Knitting, puzzles, or another calming activity
• Work or emails you can catch up on
• A mindfulness or meditation app to listen and help you relax

Reframing the time as “found time” can shift the experience.

• Ask the staff about the expected wait time. Know that it is perfectly reasonable to ask the front desk the following questions:
• How long the current wait time is and if it will work for you. Your time is important so determine if waiting is in your best interest
• Is the doctor is running behind – how long?
• Can step out briefly and be called by phone when your slot opens up?
• Doing thee things gives you a sense of what to expect and helps you plan.

Use the Time to be Better Organized:

• Waiting can give you time to do things that you have put off so use your time wisely.
• Update your medication list
• Review recent labs or imaging
• Write down symptoms or concerns
• Prepare a brief summary of what’s changed since your last visit
• Think about your personal life – what are some of the things you might do while waiting? Are you are starting to look for a new job, update your resume, do searches on line for jobs you might qualify
• Do research on things you have been thinking about doing like a vacation, renovations to your home, things you might have put off

Practice Stress-Reduction Techniques: Long waits can heighten anxiety, especially when you’re are frustrated by waiting

• Practice slow breathing
• Progressive muscle relaxation
• Listening to calming music
• Listen to Podcasts on guided meditation

Caregivers are also with you while waiting and their needs need to be considered.

• Make notes about things you want to address with the doctor
• Review what you have observed at home
• Note changes in the patients mood, function, or symptoms.
• Think through questions they want to ask about the plan of care
• Coordinate upcoming appointments or tasks to fit your schedule

Communicate Needs Early

If you have mobility issues, pain, or difficulty sitting for long periods, let staff know right away. Don’t be afraid to ask the people at the desk if accommodation can be made:

• A quieter room
• A recliner
• A blanket if you are cold
• Something to eat or drink
• Where to go to the bathroom
• The option of waiting in your car
• A more accurate estimate of timing

Reframe the Wait

When we understand why the wait is long — because the doctor is giving someone else the time and attention they need — it can soften the frustration. Many patients find comfort in thinking:

• “When it’s my turn, I’ll get the same level of care.”
• “This doctor doesn’t rush people through.”
• He listens to me and I feel heard.
• This does not eliminate the inconvenience, but it adds meaning.

Give Constructive Feedback and offer suggestions as to what you would suggest to cut down on wait times

• Share feedback with the office manager or Clinic Manager about your waiting times
• Ask if certain appointment times tend to run more on schedule.
• Request the first appointment of the day or right after lunch
• If you get a survey on the visit fill it in and add your suggestions. Constructive feedback helps practice improve.

If the wait is consistently two hours or more, you might ask:

• Is there a better time of day to schedule your appointments?
• Are there systemic issues the practice is working on?
• Is telehealth appropriate for some visits?

• This isn’t complaining — it’s partnering with the care team.

Closing Thought

Waiting is part of healthcare, but it doesn’t have to make you feel powerless. With preparation, perspective, and communication, patients and caregivers can make those long stretches more manageable. And when you finally walk into the exam room — especially with a clinician who has walked with you through something as life-changing as cancer or a catastrophic injury or illness — the wait is often worth it!

Have a good week!